


we'll be able to fly (don't fear the reaper)

by jangjoos



Category: Golden Child (Korea Band)
Genre: A Lot of Death, Angst, M/M, anyway ship bojoo, dont get too attached to them, okay 2k words took me wayyy too long to write, romance is kinda implicit tbh
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-18
Updated: 2018-04-18
Packaged: 2019-04-24 10:58:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,068
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14354052
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jangjoos/pseuds/jangjoos
Summary: the seasons don't fear the reaper,nor do the wind, the sun or the rain,we can be like they are“I wouldn’t know,” Bomin mumbled, gazing at Donghyun’s seemingly peaceful expression. It’s as if he’s asleep, dreaming. Hoping.





	we'll be able to fly (don't fear the reaper)

An angel’s wings are like clouds on a sunny day. Large enough to obscure sunlight, deceptively soft enough to touch, yet any hand that tried would simply pass through and feel nothing but cold mist. Bomin’s wings are, of course, ridiculously huge- had they been corporeal, they would’ve been a nuisance to carry around, would’ve bumped into things and gotten caught on every hanging object. It’s perhaps a bit of a relief that they exist beyond the physical plane, visible to some but tangible to none.

It’s also a bit of a relief that an angel’s wings make them absurdly easy to spot in crowds. When Joochan first lands on sullen ground, he expects to wander the human realm for at least a day, but Bomin’s pale feathers stand out like a lighthouse in the midst of sprawling seas. He’s very tall, very pretty, wings only serve to make him look ever the more majestic and intimidatingly large. When Joochan waves to him from across the street, he stops, eyes blinking rapidly with bewilderment before softening to a sort of regret.

“Already?” Is the first thing he says when they meet. Joochan’s surprised for a moment, before remembering that he sports huge dark wings of his own, feathered and beautiful like death itself. It’s convenient, the fact that grim reapers and guardian angels could find each other this way so easily.

He shifts uncomfortably in response. “Is it...early?” He asks, voice thinning into a whisper.

Bomin glances around and nods gravely.

“We’ll talk somewhere quiet. Too many prying ears.”

They walk to a small park at the end of the road. Bomin motions for them to sit down on a run-down bench, situated next to a tiny patch of anemones. In the zenith of springtime, seasons have already shifted long enough to allow flowers and leaves alike to bloom, yet the first winds continue to gasp their dying breaths.

“Tell me about our charge,” Joochan urges, “who is he? What’s he like?”

Bomin takes a deep breath, trains his eyes on the scattered blue petals against lush grass.

“Kim Donghyun. I...wasn't really expecting you,” he explains. “He doesn’t seem like he’ll die anytime soon. He’s perfectly healthy, you see? But…” Bomin pauses, then continues.

“I suppose he does seem to dance at the knife’s edge.”

Joochan swallows a lump down his throat. It has been long since he lived his own life. There was a time when he thought he had his entire life ahead of him, stretching over sunny pastures and winding through countless highs and lows; never, for a moment, had he considered that he would perish at the ripe old age of eighteen. Clouds shift above them, sunlight disappears to reveal grey skies overhead.

“Let’s go meet him, then, shall we?”

\---

Kim Donghyun’s a bright-eyed youth,  he dances and studies and lives happily like anyone his age should. He works tirelessly, strives to achieve much, but dark circles and sleepless nights relentlessly fail to dim his light. One look, and anyone can tell that he’s a boy that cares about his future, but hope is the greatest form of tragedy. For now, Bomin stands by, simply waits. As a guardian angel, a being who protects people until it’s their time to die, his task was all but complete.

The first incident occurs on the road. After the hit-and-run, Donghyun’s barely breathing when he’s carted to the hospital. Medical reports indicate that he’s been positively mangled, almost every bone in his body shattered, almost every organ damaged and bleeding. Putting him out of his suffering, at this point, would be the kindest thing to do.

But when Joochan ghosts into the sterile room, he finds himself looming over Donghyun’s bed, hesitating.

Bomin stands behind him, gently rests a hand on his shoulder. “He’s hurting, hyung. You have to.”

“I can’t,” Joochan chokes out. “It’s not fair...He’s too young…”

“So were you. Life isn’t fair.”

Joochan turns to look at him, eyes wet with tears. “Bomin, what if we didn’t do this? What would happen to him?” He asks.

“I wouldn’t know,” Bomin mumbled, gazing at Donghyun’s seemingly peaceful expression. It’s as if he’s asleep, dreaming. Hoping.

Later, Joochan finds that people could live on the faintest sliver of hope. He leaves the hospital, lets Donghyun keep his soul, lets him fight tooth and nail to reclaim his future.

And it happens. A few weeks later, there’s hope for his survival. Give or take a few months, recovery. And then, when summertime passes and signs of autumn begin to show, a miracle comes to fruition. Kim Donghyun’s a bright-eyed youth again, he walks on two feet, dances and studies and lives happily like anyone his age should. Hope is the greatest form of tragedy, but hope also happens to be tragedy’s most powerful ward.

\---

The second incident happens on the face of a cliff, while Donghyun’s laughing and playing with a couple of his friends. Close by, Joochan and Bomin watch the scene with quiet contentment. It begins with Donghyun standing a little bit too close to the edge, with Joochan taking his eyes off him, if only for a moment. Out of nowhere, a yelp echoes across the vicinity, heart-stopping noise bounces off every nook and cranny of the canyon. As soon as he whips his head around to look back, Donghyun’s chestnut hair had already disappeared over desolate and unforgiving rock.

Thankfully, Bomin acts quickly, too quickly- his keen eyes seem to spot movement before it even happens. When Donghyun goes over that cliff, he takes off, swoops in, picks him up, and lowers him gently to the ground, all in the span of a few milliseconds. Another miracle.

Donghyun’s friends scurry down the cliff to make sure he isn’t hurt. Bomin flies back up, kicking up dust as he gracefully lands on the ground. Joochan shakes himself out of his daze, relief and terror still settling in his mind. That was close. Too close.

“He’s alright, hyung,” Bomin says to him, breathing heavily. “He’ll be fine now.”

Joochan blinks.

“If it’s always that easy…” He begins with a shaky voice.

Bomin shakes his head. “It’s never that easy. I’m not supposed to interfere, see? I don’t know what will happen to me now, but…”

He stops, then twists to look behind him as an afterthought.

They notice at the same time- Bomin’s missing one of his wings.

\---

An angel’s wings are like clouds on a sunny day. Clouds made the sky pretty, made interesting shapes and cast gentle shadows onto the ground. In the daytime, people gazed at clouds, and on days where there were no clouds, the sky felt eerily empty, even if it projected hues of the deepest, calmest blues. Joochan couldn’t help but feel responsible for Bomin’s loss. If he’d just let Donghyun die like he was supposed to, if he’d just been able to get over himself…

He glances over, notices that Bomin’s looking over at him pointedly.

“You’re thinking about it again, aren’t you?”

Joochan grimaces and nods mutely. Bomin chuckles.

“I told you. Don’t worry about it. It won’t matter anyway, in the end.” Bomin tips his head skywards as he says this, smooth features of his visage highlighted elegantly by the afternoon sun.

They trudge along a winding path, surrounded by a meadow dotted with daisies and anemones. It’s springtime again, the flowers have blossomed after a long rest, a warm breeze pervades the air around them. Donghyun’s tucked away safely at home, likely cramming for his upcoming exams. At this time, he’s still healthy, still relatively happy, albeit stressed. The universe, it seems, has been kind enough to give them a bit of a break.

“It won’t matter? What do you mean?” Joochan asks with a frown.

Bomin smiles, tired and perhaps a bit knowing.

“Hyung, do you know what will happen to us after Donghyun dies?” He whispers, voice so thin that it almost disappears into the wind.

“I have...suspicions,” Joochan replies, hesitant.

“We’ll cease to exist,” Bomin deadpans. “I don’t know what happens after that, but we’ll definitely disappear, somehow.”

To that, Joochan let out a dry, humorless laugh. “And that’s just one more reason, isn’t it?”

Bomin shakes out his single wing, letting feathers come loose and fall to the ground. They land gently amidst the flowers, blending in seamlessly with scattered petals. At that moment, it begins to rain.

\---

The third incident can’t exactly be called an incident- it’s more like a series of unfortunate events tied to a single catastrophic conclusion. Donghyun falls fatally ill, so unexpectedly that it could be considered a tragic miracle. This is the second time he’s been consigned to the hospital for months on end. It’s heart-wrenching, watching the kid waste away like this. Joochan can’t help but wonder if he’s figured it out yet- the universe is out to get him, and it seems that at this point, it’ll stop at nothing to achieve this goal.

For every day that Joochan holds onto his hope, shirks his duty, wishes for a miracle, Bomin loses a feather. For every day that Donghyun is allowed to live, Bomin dies a bit inside.

Every passing hour becomes a dilemma.

“Life isn’t fair. I want him to have more time,” Joochan mutters, gripping Bomin’s hands. “Call me selfish, but I want more time with you, too.”

Bomin looks back at him, expression a bit mournful. “You’ll have to do it eventually.”

“I know.”

“Even Donghyun knows it. He’s dying, for real this time.”

Weeks pass. Bomin’s left with a few feathers that appear haphazardly stuck to his back. Give it a few more days, nobody would have guessed that he was an angel sent from the heavens. His last feather lands gently on sullen ground in the dreary heat of late summer.

And when leaves begin to fall from weak branches, tossed about by the relentless autumn winds, when flowers begin to wilt and blue skies turn grey, Joochan hardens his heart and finally makes a decision.

\---

“It’s about time,” Donghyun tells them, eyes unfocused and staring at clouds above. Joochan felt his heart lurch, tried to retract his wings as much as humanly possible as not to appear intimidating, as not to loom like death over the tiniest figment of life. He knew, of course he knew. He knew he was dying, but for some reason, his eyes still looked as bright and optimistic as ever, he wore a subtle yet blinding smile on his youthful face.

From nearby, yet somehow far away, Bomin spoke in a comforting tone:

“We’re sorry. Sorry you couldn’t have another chance.”

“It’s alright,” Donghyun responds with a choked laugh. “You were watching over me, right? Thank you.”

He turns towards Joochan. “And you too. Thank you.”

Joochan could only stare blankly, watch Donghyun’s soul drift further and further away into overcast skies. Something in his heart felt sad, empty, but why should it? The boy isn’t suffering anymore. He can be happy again.

Something soft and feathery taps Joochan’s shoulder, tickling his neck. He recoils. Of course. With this, Bomin has earned his wings back- and somehow, in some way, they’re corporeal now. Small blessings.

“Till we meet again, Bomin,” Joochan pauses and nods at the sky. “Donghyun.”

“You did well, hyung. You had to.” Bomin whispers, taking a step forward, holding him close.

And for now, they simply stand there, wings intertwined, dark and light feathers nestled closely amongst each other as they slowly dissipate into the soft breeze. Joochan tries to ignore the dreariness that begins to cloud his mind, tries to stop his tears from dampening their pristine plumages, tries to enjoy the way Bomin emulates the airy warmth of early spring. Closing his eyes for the very last time, he catches a momentous glimpse of the sun peeking through drifting clouds, casting bits of sunlight onto a garden of anemones below.

\---

In a dreamlike world, Joochan sees himself chasing springtime, prancing amongst flowers and dancing with the wind. He sees Bomin, a friend he’s known for a lifetime and beyond, laughing with him as they outran life’s greatest trials and tribulations together. He sees a shadowed sentinel with pale wings perched on a vantage point nearby, ever watchful and protective- a guardian angel. In another life, the universe is much, much kinder to them.

**Author's Note:**

> the atmosphere in this fic was so thick i felt like i was gonna choke on all the angst ughhh but it's done now so yay :DD  
> im sorry if this whole thing was a bit of a mess but augh when have i ever written something that's not a mess  
> anyway i really love bojoo skdajkdasklj hmu on twt @bojooch!


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